How "Breast Cancer Husband by Mark Silver" helped me

Prior to the surgery, the nurse recognized that I was still having some problems processing all the information and she pulled me aside and she recommended a book called Breast Cancer Husband by Mark Silver. And immediately, because one of the roles that you have as a caregiver is you’re like, how quickly can I fix the problem? Men are all about fixing. Women are all about emotions. We have a problem with our lawnmower, we get the toolkit out. If the house is leaking, we get some shingles. We’re very physical by nature, not emotional. And we’re like, what do we do, how do we help, how do we get through this? She could see that I was having some issues with this, she recommended this book. On the way to work, [I] went to the bookstore, purchased this book, and just started devouring it. As men, we’re not big readers of books typically—this book really answered a lot of questions. One of the advices is, you’re not the fix-it guy anymore. You’re not going to solve this problem. You’re going to help manage this problem, but the most important thing you can do is be there. Be available, listen. When she wants her space, give her her space. Don’t deprive yourself of your personal time with your buddies, but always make sure that someone is there either with your wife, or giving your wife that space that she needs. She needs your attention; when she’s asleep she doesn’t need your attention. I found the book to be very helpful.